|Dry skin, dirty ring, hang nail, polish splotch=real life.|
Browsing around the “Popular Pins” section on Pinterest last night, I saw a pin that said 6 Rules. It was a nice little pictorial of a young woman’s “Rules” for a proposal from her boyfriend. Here’s what it said:
1. Ask for my parent’s blessing
2. Make it a complete surprise
3. Use my full name
4. Get down on one knee
5. Have someone catch it on camera
6. Make sure my nails are done
I laughed. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. SubHub and I are closing in on 14 years of marriage, with almost 17 years since we started dating. Here’s what I’ve learned: you wake up the next morning after the wedding, and you have a marriage.
Here’s my 6 Rules For Marriage:
1. Side with each other in front of your kids. You can discuss it later.
2. Talk about spending money before you spend it.
3. Quit fantasizing about the person you thought your spouse would be. They are who they are, farts and all. Love THAT person.
4. Be away from each other once in awhile. An evening, a weekend, etc. You’ll like them again when you get home.
5. Have sex sometimes even when you *think* you don’t feel like it.
6. Don’t ever, ever, complain to your parents about your spouse. You’re not married to them.
Marriage isn’t all roses, diamonds, and manicures. It’s negotiating each other, serving each other, guiding each other. Once you get real about that, your “rules” won’t mean much. You won’t care if he gets down on one knee, uses your full name, or if you have a hang nail in the picture. You’ll be more excited about the life you’re going to build than the wedding you’re going to have.
That’s how you know you’re ready for it.